A Princess Is Redeemed
A letter to my daughter
My dearest Deanna,
By the time you’re old enough to read this, you will have seen and heard a lot of messages about princesses. You might read or watch a beautiful story about love and goodness. You might find a book like the one I saw at the library the other day, that says being a princess is overrated and stuffy. You might hear that a princess is helpless, or that a princess has to save the day all by herself, or that a princess is something you shouldn’t want to be. You might get very confused. I was, for a while. But not anymore. I have learned what a princess really is. You and I can both be princesses, because…
A Princess Is Royal
“Royal” means “important and in charge”. You are very, very important. It might not seem that way sometimes, especially when you’re little and everyone else is making the decisions. But you are important to me. You are important to everyone who loves you, and there are a lot of those people. Me, your daddy, your brother, your aunts and uncles and cousins, your grandparents, our friends — and most of all, you are important to God. He is the King, so what He says is important really is important. He created you. He put you in our family and even chose you to be in His. That makes you very, very, very important.
Because you are already so important and so loved, you don’t need to prove yourself to anyone. A princess doesn’t have to act perfectly or do super impressive things to be a princess; she just is one, from the very beginning of her life. I hope we can show you by our words and our lives that we love you no matter what. You don’t have to go looking for love from random strangers, or from nasty people who want to use you. You don’t have to hide your mistakes or pretend everything is fine even when you’re hurting. You are important to God and to us, and we are here for you.
A Princess Is Respectful
“Respect” means “treating people as if they are important”. You can treat yourself with respect, because like I just said, you are important. Other people are important, too. They are valuable just by being people. God made them, too. Respect means treating them like people, not like tools to use or monsters to hate. Some of them might be mean and hurt others, and it’s okay to want them to stop and make things right. But they are still people, even then. Respect can mean forgiveness, mercy, and patience, even when a princess must give out justice.
“Respect” can also mean “recognizing who is in charge”. You are in charge of some things by being royal. But sometimes, God puts other people in charge of you. Mommy and Daddy are your royal guardians, here to make sure you learn to be safe and do what’s right. You can help us by listening and obeying, even when you don’t understand all the reasons why. We have people in charge of us, too. Some of them are pastors and teachers, and some of them are government officials (a little bit like royalty). We respect them by doing what they say. But listen carefully, because this is important to know: God is the most in charge. He is the one who has to be respected and obeyed, no matter what. If anyone else in charge says to do something that God says not to do, or not to do something God says we are supposed to do, then a princess obeys the King instead of the other person. That counts for me, too, if I ever tell you to do something against what God says.
A Princess Is Responsible
“Responsible” means “having a job to do and doing it”. Sometimes, God will put you in charge of things, too, and even other people. Taking care of them will be your job. When you have a job, it’s important to do it well. Some jobs will be your choice, like learning a musical instrument or getting a pet. Other jobs will just come up in life, like taking care of yourself and your own things. Right now, I am responsible for you in a lot of ways. I have to make sure you get the food and water and sleep you need, because you can’t do it by yourself yet. But someday, you’ll be responsible for yourself.
Now, that doesn’t mean you have to do everything all on your own. Sometimes, no matter how old you get, there will be things you can’t do, even though they need to be done. That’s when you can ask for help. Asking someone else to help you with your job is often the responsible thing to do. That’s why God puts other people in our lives, so we can help each other. Sometimes you’ll need help, and sometimes you’ll be able to help others. That’s just the way life works. None of us can do everything, but we can do our best. That is being responsible.
A Princess Is…Ridiculous?
Now, you are going to hear a lot of stories that say a princess’s life is all about following strict rules, about being polite and perfect, about being fancy and stuffy and never letting your feelings show or getting dirty. Those stories are about princesses who are in charge of a whole country. Maybe now you can understand that being in charge of a whole country means being respectful and responsible for hundreds and thousands of people! Those complicated rules are there to help her do that, most of the time. You don’t have to do all that, little one. God put you in a family that doesn’t run the country.
But sometimes, you might feel like the rules I ask you to obey are just as silly as curtsying or using three different forks. Sometimes rules will be silly, or wrong, and it’s good to question them. But a real princess doesn’t rebel against the rules just because she’s bored, or to be mean to her parents, or because she’d rather just have fun instead of being responsible.
Now, there are a lot of different ways to be a princess. Your way — the way God made you to be — might not match my way. I might have a hard time getting used to that. But I promise to always be there for you, to love you and support you, even if your way of princess-ing is weird to me. And if you mess up — if you mess up in a big way, even if you think you’ve lost your crown — I’ll be there, still loving you, to bring you back and help you find it again. If for some reason I can’t be there, God always will be. He’s in the business of getting His sons and daughters out of the ashes, out of the messy, yucky, broken places, and bringing them back to the glorious palace where they belong, by His side. That’s what I mean when I say a princess is redeemed.
Love forever,
Your Mommy